why?!

Why do I torture myself with this. I miss him. I want him. I have a boyfriend.
Am I truly happy? What does it mean if I keep thinking about another guy...
All I can think about is him, the way he made me feel..the way he touched me, the way he talked to me, the way he hugged me. And how I was his "first".


I don't know what to do anymore... HELP!


These are some songs we use to stare into each others eyes while listening to..sometimes we sang them together. But mostly we just thought of how much we liked each other while listening to them :)

Wanna Make Some Food?

All these look so delicious! Click on the links to get the recipes!

http://www.melskitchencafe.com/2009/09/crispy-southwest-chicken-wraps.html

http://bevcooks.com/2012/01/buffalo-chicken-wraps/

http://www.chef-in-training.com/2011/09/no-bake-cake-batter-truffles-take-2.html

http://www.closetcooking.com

http://annies-eats.com/2010/03/05/baked-southwestern-egg-rolls/

Dazed and Confused

Senior year..shouldn't there be no relationships? Why be tied down with someone your LAST year of high school. Shouldn't you go out and have fun? I mean come oooonn! What is the point? Your just going to go to college next year.

That is why i'm stuck. I'm in a relationship with this guy..we went out junior year. Broke up, I had the BEST summer..then we got back together once school started...
I told him over and over no...then on Christmas he got me a Tiffany's ring..and asked me out again. What was I suppose to do..say no?!
It's 2 months later...and I want out. But I can't break his heart AGAIN!
I mean, yeah...I do love him, I love spending time with him.
But this past weekend when me and just my girls went out, it was soooo much fun! And I wanted to hook up!! haha

I'm stuck...confused...and don't know what to do anymore...

Fashion Sense.

The thing about fashion is...I feel as though I couldn't pull of ANY of these looks. If I wore things like this to my school, people (mostly bratty bitchy girls) will think i'm trying to be something that i'm not. Thats why i'm excited to get out to college. I can actually wear things like this and people wouldn't think anything of it.

My style right now is simple...simple shoes, simple shirts, simple pants. No skirts, no scarfs, no hats, no belts, no heels.

Bucket list: Get a new style

Going for the simple elegant work look...

or the hipster rocker chick..

Perfect new years/party dress!

Keeping it classy for the winter.

And another cute rocker chick look.

Pretty Little Liar...

I hate lying to my mom. I just wish I could tell her the truth about where i'm going and who i'm going to see.

For example: last night I told my mom I was sleeping over at my friends house..but really, we were going to rent a motel with 8 other people, including my BF. Turns out, the plans didn't exactly work out due to their strict rules at the motel. So, we all just ended up going home. Except for me. I spend the night with my boyfriend at his dad's house..

I just hope that someday I can tell my mom the truth about everything. I never want to lie to her..it just makes me feel so sick inside. But if I told her the truth, I wouldn't be able to experience things for myself.

Just from last night, I learned NEVER to rent a motel again. hahaha

Live and Learn.

Bucket List

Recently I purchased a blank page writing journal (suppose to be used for drawings), but I like to write freely with no lines.
Anyways, in it, i've listed everything i'd like to do before I die. Such as:

AND MANY MORE...

I believe everyone should have a bucket list, otherwise, whats the point of life?! HAVE FUN! Be spontaneous! Go on an adventure. Do something you've NEVER done before. Don't be boring and just live life like its just another day. Live life to the fullest.

True Friendship?

Honestly, I love my friends. However...sometimes I feel left out. No..a LOT of the time I feel left out.
Ever since my new friend came here from a different state, me and my (use to be) best friend drifted apart. They became BEST friends..having sleepovers EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! (Since my new friend lives alone with a roommate). I am rarely invited to places with them because they think I'm with my boyfriend.  Seriously though, me and him aren't in the honeymoon stage anymore! We would BOTH like to hang out with everyone..
However, my (old) best friend gives me the vibe that she doesn't like my boyfriend so much cause he's "mean" to her. So I never want to bring him around her! (Then he just gets upset, and it causes us to fight)
ANYWAYS!
I always feel left out...and I hate it.


Being left out is horrible. But you can't say anthing without sounding jealous or like a cry baby..


^^^^^^^^^ Truth hurts.


Even when i'm with them, I feel left out! They leave me out of conversations and jokes.
I don't do ANYTHING to make them that way.
I just don't even know what to do anymore...